Depression depresses me...

According to Wikipedia (the reference for people too lazy to look things up and verify for themselves): 

Depression is a state of low mood and aversion to activity that can have a negative effect on a person's thoughts, behavior, feelings, world view and physical well-being.  Depressed people may feel sad, anxious, empty, hopeless, worried, helpless, worthless, guilty, irritable, hurt or restless. They may lose interest in activities that once were pleasurable, experience loss of appetite or overeating, have problems concentrating, remembering details, or making decisions and may contemplate or attempt suicide.  Insomnia, Excessive sleeping, fatigue, loss of energy, or aches, pains or digestive problems that are resistant to treatment may also be present.

I believe I an suffering from depression.  Now, before you go calling the suicide hotline on my behalf, lets be blunt - depression is a MOOD.  Many times it is temporary, and in my case I believe this to be the case.  I think that when all my India packing is complete, and my feet are back on American soil, most, if not all, of my symptoms will vanish.  But for now, when combined with my ever-present anxiety and my panic attacks - well, let's just say it isn't much fun.  If it continues past my return home, then I will have myself evaluated by a professional. 

I find myself thinking about death a lot.  This is not necessarily bad - we each will die, and coming to grips with that is probably part of the human condition.  I find myself lethargic, constantly tired, and able to fall asleep at the drop of a hat.  I have begun suffering from indigestion after every meal, whether it is spicy, or bland.  My anxiety and panic attacks kick in, and I swear I am having a heart attack - until I belch, and all the pressure vanishes.  I find myself walking a lot, just to relieve the gas - also, probably a good thing.

I chose to keep my middle child, my 12 year old daughter, in India with me.  I do not regret it, but she figures into my fears now as well - What if she has another allergic reaction?  What if my fears are realized, and I pass out or do suffer a medical emergency?  What if - well, fill in the blank.  There are a lot of scary possibilities when you alone are responsible for a child half a world away from anything familiar.

I am down to my last 3 weeks, give or take a few days.  I intend to do as much as I can, on what I have referred to as my "Fairwell Tour of Bangalore".  Yes, I know it is normally spelled "farewell", but I also know Bangalore can be more Fair or Carnival than anything else, so I'll keep the spelling I like, thank you very much.  I have much work to accomplish, and a lot of "fun" things to do as well.  These last weeks and weekends will be busy, and I want to enjoy them.

I don't want to be worried every minute of every day - yet I seem to be.  Constantly.  I find that my last weeks is what should be a joyful time are marred, and I have nobody to blame but myself.

I just wish I knew how to fix it.