Excuses, excuses, excuses

I thought long and hard about whether I should condemn an entire country of almost 1.4 Billion people for the actions of a few hundred million, but I figured "What the heck, it's my blog." See, in the US we have people who make excuses and are never on time. They are called "contractor's", and in tough times, they are typically the first to go bankrupt.

In India, though, the normal person is an excuse maker, tardy, undependable, and lazy. Waiting 3 days for the TV repairman was the push I needed to have this whine session.

I called on Tuesday morning. He promised he would be here in the afternoon, so I diligently left money with the wife, knowing in the back of my mind he would not arrive. He didn't. When I called later on Tuesday, he said he would be here first thing Wednesday morning.

Wednesday morning I called, to verify his arrival. The story was his technician had called out, and he would come personally Wednesday afternoon. I put on my best "pissed off American" attitude, all the while figuring I was right on schedule for a Thursday morning arrival. Wednesday afternoon came a phone call from said TV repair shop owner, as I knew it would, this time explaining that his truck broke down on the way to fix my television. He was so very sorry, but he would be here Thursday morning. I told him he had until 11:00 AM Thursday, or he could just stay gone.

Thursday morning I again called, and he is "on the way" - he promises an arrival by 11:00... Or 11:15 at the latest. I figure noon, but I won't tell him that. I'll update this if he actually arrives.

-- UPDATE - at 11:10 I got a call from him, he is stuck in traffic, but will be here in 30 minutes or less. Further updates coming, I am sure.

--UPDATE 2 - at 12:05 the repair man arrived. He took the TV apart, took a circuit board out, and promised to have it repaired and returned no later than Tuesday. And I believe him, almost.

Now, this could happen in the US - heck, it has happened in the US. But what is frustrating is that it is a constant in India, everything requiring another person, organization, or entity results in a series of excuses before finally delivering a 80% solution, late and more expensive than promised. Everything. It is draining. I find myself constantly on the verge of frustration, because I know, whenever things are going smoothly, they will shortly change.

For any expats here, I will offer some advice that I have had some success with. First, clearly state deadlines - preferable 2 days earlier than you originally need it, so when the time slips - and it will - you can still make your original deadline. Second, be the grouch. I have tried to be the nice guy, and my politeness is mistaken for weakness. When I play the mean, nasty SOB, things happen in a more timely manner - not when I want them, but a lot sooner than they would otherwise. Thirdly, and most important, learn that time functions differently in India. They call IST "India Stretchy Time" for a reason. Have a workaround, or distraction, handy. If it is unimportant in the big scheme of things, like the television, don't be afraid to get someone else. You won't have it fixed any sooner, but the excuses may be more inventive.

Now, there are some notable exceptions. My driver is very dependable, as is my nanny/cook/maid. Many of my co-workers have adopted a more American attitude of time, deadlines, ownership, and commitment. For all I know, though, the dozen or two people in my immediate sphere are the only people who are like this.

What it does mean, though, is my attitude is a little better when I am in the States. Internet in the US just works, or Comcast gets a call, and it is fixed or an ETA of resumption of service is given. Here, a phone call is to the technician, who may fix your problem, or may say it is at the "main provider" - meaning it is out of his control, and he is not calling them to find out what is going on. Electrical connections in the US are relatively safe and consistent, while in India they are a mish-mosh of electrical tape, bailing wire, spit and prayers. Plumbers are professional in the US, even though they have them funky butt-baring pants, while in India plumbing leaks are routinely fixed by wrapping a rag wound the pipe and tightening it until it is only a slow drizzle.

I am not exaggerating about the 80% rule. It is the norm. If something Almost works, or kinda works, or even is broken in a different way, then it can be considered repaired, and crossed off the list. When a friend had a bathroom leak repaired, the plumber left with the wall unpatched, a gaping hole remaining, where he had to access the pipes. "I am a plumber, not a mason" the man replied. When the mason came a week later, and patched the wall, much of the mud had dried on the floor, and left difficult to dislodge clumps. The implication was that cleaning up was not the mason's job.

Sometimes I think saying 80% is being generous.

There are bright spots. My youngest was in the hospital last week, and the doctor, while late and difficult to understand, seemed competent. The nurses, while not as attentive as I would have liked, seemed capable. The hospital itself was a bit primitive, and the bed was a board with a slender piece of foam, but she is better, and that is what counts. Or maybe I just expected the worst, and was pleasantly surprised it was not as bad as I feared.